New Shoulder - As Good as New!

Jo had her one-year shoulder check-up earlier this week.  Can you believe it’s been a year since her last joint replacement?  Dr. Hatzidakis asked if he could get a little video of Jo dancing to show just how well her shoulder is doing.  If things go as planned, we’ll have a little video to share shortly.  It’s truly remarkable!

Earlier today, Anna and I went to a Celebration of Life for a little friend of ours from Anna’s triathlon team.  She was with her mom, shopping for running shoes, when a freak accident suddenly cut her life short.

How does one reconcile the seemingly unfair nature of life?

Jo is downtown this weekend at the Colorado Country Classic.  We have a friend that was supposed to be there, but is not.  Last year, I spoke to this friend and her husband about coming to Denver a few days early to go to Manitou with us to climb the Manitou Incline.  They were both very excited about it.  I didn’t follow up.  We didn’t go to Manitou. 

I don’t blame myself for the way things turned out.  Still, what if I had followed up?  What if I had reached out with just a little more rigor?  What if?

14 years ago, Jo and I participated in the Landmark Forum and we’ve been students ever since.  Since then, no less than 50 or 60 of our closest friends have done the Landmark Forum.  If you are one of those friends, this message is for you.  Who have you taken to an Introduction to the Landmark Forum lately?  Who are going to take in the next few months?

Back Home

Jo came home last night and is resting well.  The recovery process can now begin.  Her arm is in a big sling and she has an ice machine circulating cold water all around her shoulder.  We'll be doing exercises 3 times per day and she's been told she won't be able to drive for 6 to 8 weeks.  Good thing there is no driving necessary to teach a dance or two in Colorado Springs in just 5 weeks!

Two thumbs up for Rose Medical Center in Denver.  The food was absolutely outstanding! (At least that's what Jo told me.)  By the way...if you work at Rose, I'm sorry Jo ate so many of those delicious little ice cream cups you keep in the refrigerator.  I hope none of the other patients were looking for one.

"Almost Too Easy"

Jo and I arrived at Rose Medical Center at 5:30am.  She was checked in and ready to go by 7:30am and before 9:30am we were sitting in the recovery room.  That's right, I said, "we".  That's the first time I've ever been invited to the recovery room.  In fact, the entire surgery process seems to have changed quite a bit in the past 8 years. Everything seems a lot easier and much more streamlined.

Before noon, Jo was sitting in her room talking to Anna on the phone and I heard her say, "It seemed almost too easy."  She is scheduled to spend one night in the hospital and then head on home tomorrow.

In the famous words of one doctor at the NIH, "Don't worry, it'll get worse."  Of course, he was talking about the ATG treatment, but I'm guessing Jo's discomfort will increase a little as soon as her nerve block starts to wear off.  Right now, she still can't feel or move the fingers on her left hand.

The early morning caught up with us and we both just finished a pretty significant nap, but other than that, Jo looks ready for me to wheel her down to Starbucks!

Engine, Engine #9

Saturday morning I left my house at 4:55am headed to The Manitou Incline.  The sun was poking up over the eastern horizon and a low hanging fog engulfed much of Colorado Springs.  By the time I got to Manitou, the sun was shining on the mountain and the fog had lifted.  The best word to describe the entire drive is “majestic”.

I do this drive a fair amount, and every time my eyes get moist.  This particular Saturday, I wept.  Two weeks ago, my dear friends lost their 15 month old grandchild.  For 10 years I’ve written about navigating the circumstances of life, all the while hoping nobody would ever say to me, “yeah, but you’ve never lost a child.”  I should have known this day would come.  I have no answers.  I have no advice.  If you need another hug, I’m here for you.

………

I see it’s been over 4 years since my last post.  Jo’s health has been essentially perfect.  She really runs around in life just like you or me as if nothing ever happened.  Well, this week it’s time to turn back time.  Jo is at the airport right now picking up Meema, which Anna is very excited about!  Before we get to the details, let’s take a look at the game film…

If you look closely, the cadaver bone that Jo had put in her shoulder EIGHT years ago is coming loose and breaking apart.  You can see the screw has sunk down into the shoulder and isn’t even touching the cadaver bone anymore.  As our little niece said when she was about 5 years old, “I’ve got another broken arm.”

Tomorrow, Jo will have a partial shoulder replacement.  Or as the medical folk like to say…”LEFT shoulder open debridgement, biopsies/cultures with pyrocarbon humeral head hemiarthroplasty.  Possible long head biceps tenodesis, labral repair, total shoulder replacement, biceps tenodesis, cadaver tissue use, bone grafting, and/or distal clavicle excision if required.”

This is Jo’s 9^th joint surgery.  Bonus points go out to anybody that can identify the most likely place an adult today could hear the phrase “Engine, Engine #9”.  (The answer has nothing to do with children.)

The Final "Home Stretch"

Over the last couple of months, we've had the chance to get updates from several of the friends we made at MD Anderson. Two of our friends who had unsuccessful transplants are now 6 months or more past their SECOND transplants and doing very well! Several of our other friends who had successful first transplants are almost completely off their various medications.

All of our friends had Leukemia and Jo did not, so it's not completely fair to compare their progress to Jo's progress. Still, I would be lying if I said we weren't a little disappointed that Jo's weaning process isn't as far along as some of our friends. Well, that's all about to change!

Jo saw Dr. Anderlini in Houston yesterday and he told Jo to stop her Tachro completely and "see what happens". Although I try to remain humble, I do have to admit that I told Jo to let Dr. Anderlini know that I thought it was time to quit the Tachro. I can only assume that Jo has been passing my medical advice on to Dr. Anderlini these past 15 months.

Doctors do love to poke and prod and MD Anderson would never want to miss an opportunity. Jo got 5 more vaccinations before she left her appointment. Jo won't be back in Colorado until Sunday. Anna and I are hoping that any weird withdrawal symptoms are finished by then since we have a very busy Sunday.

I guess we have to wait and see what happens, but I can't imagine the "home stretch" getting any more final than this.

What's Your "Calling"?

Last Sunday at Church, our Pastor’s message was titled “Happy People Have a Calling”, and it was brilliant! Here are the key points as I saw them:

First: Your vocation has NOTHING to do with the happiness you feel in regard to work.

Second: The way you view your vocation has EVERYTHING to do with the happiness you feel in regard to work. You can view your vocation as a job, as a career or as your calling. It’s up to you.

Do you realize what this means? It means you have 100% control over how much happiness you feel when it comes to your work. Our Pastor even suggested that if you are doing temporary work, you can still view it as your temporary calling!

Jo and I had an extraordinary conversation on the way out of the sanctuary. For much of Jo’s life, her calling has been to be an international dance instructor. I asked Jo, “What has your calling been the last couple of years?" She said, “My calling has been to be a mom and to be a bone marrow transplant patient.” Consider this: When you are doing exactly what God is calling you to do, how can you have anything less than happiness?

It’s been suggested that Jo did not choose to have a bone marrow transplant. We actually believe she did. God puts options in front of us – sometimes those options are limited to a single option. From the options God put in front of Jo, she chose to have a bone marrow transplant and for the last 18 months she has chosen to relate to that experience as her temporary calling and to take it on with the same level of passion she brings to dance or being a mom.

So the question I have to ask myself is this: Where in my life do I have situations that I view as unfortunate circumstances that I have to muddle through...as compared to my temporary calling straight from the hand of God?

Turning Over the Reins

News from the trenches is very slow these days and I fear my days as a blogger are coming to an end.  Without paint, a painter cannot paint.  Without stone, a sculptor cannot sculpt.  Without flour, a baker cannot make delicious carrot cake muffins loaded with creamcheese frosting.

Please check back now and then.  You have not yet heard the last from me, but for now, I must say goodbye.  Thank you all for your faithful support and your kind words of encouragement.  Until the events of life once again inspire me to put pen to paper, I leave you in the wonderful and very capable hands of my extraordinary wife:

www.timjoandanna.blogspot.com

The last 7 years have been absolutely amazing and I truly hope you have learned as much as we have about playing the game of life - about swinging for the fences no matter what kind of pitches are thrown your way.  There is no hurdle that life can put in front of you that you cannot cross.  Take full responsibility for your entire life, even the things that are seemingly not your fault and you will live an extraordinary life.

In case life throws you a pitch that appears less than perfect, I leave you with the Szymanski Prayer.  We say it every day as a family.  It is and has been a tremendous rudder for our family and if it someday helps you navigate the waters of your life, we feel privileged to have had the opportunity to share.

May God give you the STRENGTH to always accept the present

exactly the way it is and exactly the way it is not,

and the COURAGE to never give up on the future!

9 Month Checkup

Wait a minute. I thought we had Jo's 9 month checkup almost 4 years ago. Oh yeah, that was before we started over! Actually, most of the last 7 years seems like ancient history. Combine that with the worst two long-term memories you may have ever run across and you have the perfect formula for living an extraordinary life independent of circumstances - now that sounds like a book title if I don't say so myself. Hmmm?

Jo went to Texas last week to see the good Dr. Anderlini. We had been hoping to start weening off the Tacro, but that is not the case. Jo's body and Uncle Eddie's stem cells are still learning to get along. Some days that process goes well and other days it looks like the Democrats and Republicans trying to agree on what to do about the budget deficit - kind of ugly.

Jo hasn't had any horrible signs of graft vs. host disease, but there are some little indicators. Dr. Anderlini says that even though her platelet counts are good, they have been slightly on the decline for several months. He thinks this fact combined with some other minor stuff warrants an INCREASE in Jo's Tacro. Doh!

Not all was lost on Jo's latest trip to the humidity capital of the world. Dr. Anderlini said she can start eating more fresh fruits and vegetables. She had been pretty much limited to Watermelon, Avocados and other thick-skinned items. I bought her a delicious Colorado Cantaloupe, but she doesn't seem interested.

Jo did give a bone marrow sample while she was at MD Anderson. After 15 or 20 times, it gets a little routine. To try to make things interesting, she tried everything she could to stay awake and watch the procedure. She remembers going in. She remembers coming out. The rest is a mystery.

Rocky Mountain High

Jo, Anna and I all made our way back to Colorado in July and began the process of getting settled into our routines. Jo has seen Dr. Alvarez a couple of times. He, of course, remains very cautious. It's more fun to visit him now that the parting remark is "See you next month!"

Anna and I were sick last week for about 6 days and Jo was able to stay healthy the entire time, which is extremely encouraging. That just shows how hand washing and being careful can help you stay healthy. On the other hand, Anna and I using the same spoon to share ice cream is probably not the best idea.

Jo will go back to see Dr. Anderlini in September and again in December. The next big step we're waiting for is the process of weaning off the Tacro - hopefully this fall or winter at the latest!

A Short Tangent

Over the last 12 months I have been very fortunate to have the opportunity to do a small bit of work with the NASA community in Houston. Especially in light of having to be in Houston for Jo's transplant, being able to do some work has been a tremendous experience.

This morning at 4:00am I was able to go on site at NASA and join the NASA community at an early AM gathering as they celebrated the landing of the very last Space Shuttle flight for the United States of America. In my 43 years of walking this Earth, I have never met a group of people that so universally loved their jobs as much as the people I've met here.

When I was young I dreamed of being an astronaut or at least working for NASA. Somewhere along the line I lost track of that dream, but isn't it interesting that by chance I end up with a handful of new friends that work for NASA who give me an opportunity to feel like, in a small way, I was a part of the last couple of missions?

Consider that once you create a possibility for the future, that possibility never goes away. Over time you may lose track of your goals, but my bet is that your sub-conscious mind will be working on those goals day after day, week after week, year after year.

To the NASA community, I salute your efforts and I congratulate you on your tremendous success. Thank you for making the hair on my arms stand on end year after year with every launch. Thank you for being an incredible example of how to dream big!

Bye Bye Houston

Earlier this week, Jo saw Dr. Anderlini one last time before hitting the road. In 10 minutes, the various hospital employees used the words, "graft vs. host disease" (GVHD) about 40 times. We get it. GVHD is the primary concern going forward and we have to watch for anything and everything that seems abnormal. Trust me. We'll keep a close eye on Jo. I promise. Now bring me a margarita please!

Speaking of margaritas, I don't think I can really convey how much fun we've had with David, BeLynda and the Triplets these past 9 months. Okay, Anna and I probably had more fun than Jo, but Jo had a LOT of fun too! In the category of making the absolute best of a less than perfect situation, the Smith Family gets an A+. Thank you for sharing so much of your lives with us this past year! We love you and we can't wait to see what the future holds for our two families.

Jo and Anna flew off to Minnesota early Wednesday morning where they found the high temperatures to be very similar to the Houston winter. I heard it snowed in the Colorado mountains about 10 days ago, so I guess highs in the 60s isn't all that bad!

Do you remember...

A trip to Lufkin is always a trip down memory lane. This one I just had to share.

Headed Out of Dodge!

Jo and Anna left the Houston area last night on a 6-week trip that eventually ends up back in Denver. After 3 weeks in East Texas with Memaw, Jo will do one last visit to see Dr. Anderlini and then they're off to MN for 3 weeks with Meema. If you live in Denver, don't look for them until July.

There are a lot of things I'll miss about Texas. I'll miss knowing BeLynda has always taken care of the details. I'll miss making multiple trips per day with David to HEB. I'll miss Kaden's spontaneous dances in the middle of the living room. I'll miss Zander's dedication to the study of dinosaurs and the universe. I'll miss Montana's 80 lb. greetings at the front door. I'll miss Regina's homemade pizza every Friday night!

What I'll miss most of all is coming into the Smith home and going to look for Anna. More than likely I would find her with Addison and the two of them would be playing together in the Pink Room. Or maybe they would be swimming together in the pool or perched together atop the monkey bars on the swing set.

I know Anna very much enjoyed the boys, but I think it was pretty special to have a sister for 9 months. Yes, they fought like sisters now and then, but much more often they helped each other put on makeup, they helped each other dress their dolls and they practiced their gymnastics together. When Anna gets older, I doubt she'll even remember momma having a bone marrow transplant and I'd be shocked if she remembered anything about momma having 8 surgeries in 25 months. If she remembers anything from her first 5+ years of life, I think she'll remember the experience of having a sister.

9 Pokes - A New Record

Jo saw Dr. Anderlini today and he suggested that she start her vaccinations. She was given a brand new vaccination record book, just like every grade school kid brings in to the school nurse. Three more visits are required to complete the vaccinations.

Jo's day went sort of like this:

Poke #1: Blood Draw
Poke #2: IV in her hand for sedation
Poke #3: Bone Marrow Biopsy - the BIG needle!
Poke #4, #5 and #6 - Left arm vaccinations
Poke #7, #8 and #9 - Right arm vaccinations

I suggested a body piercing to get the day into double digits. Jo gracefully declined.

A Happy Easter in East Texas!

We had a great time visiting with Jo's family over Easter. Anna and cousin Lacey Jo enjoyed playing with the bunnies and everyone loved the new additions to Uncle Eddie's farm...a baby donkey and a new Llama named Tony. Get it?? Tony Llama? I think you might have to be from Texas to get that one! Memaw Rita made her famous deviled eggs for the family get-together at Aunt Gaynell's house...lots of good food including Texas Bar-B-Que Brisket and chicken and dumplings! Yum!

Who are you?

This morning I signed up for a little triathlon in August and even as I sit here writing I’m filled with excitement. I thought about it much of the day yesterday and I couldn’t wait to get signed up. Yesterday was an awesome day!

Who are you?

When I was in my early 20s, I was doing graduate work at California State University in Sacramento. I’ve always loved school. I distinctly remember the beautiful walking bridge across the Sacramento River. I know this sounds pretty dorky, but I used to walk across that bridge after taking tests singing to myself, “My future’s so bright, I’ve got to wear shades!”

Who are you?

This morning was an amazing morning on the farm in Lufkin. The sun had not yet poked its way over the horizon. The donkeys, the horses and Uncle Eddie’s new llama were all anxious to say “good morning” as I made an early morning departure for Starbucks. It’s a good life!

Who are you?

I spoke briefly to Meema yesterday. Why is it that every year I get older and every year my parents get cooler? I can’t wait to be sitting with them at the lake this summer. Doing what? It really doesn’t matter.

Who are you?

My buddy Steve texted me a picture this morning of himself and his wife sitting at his brother’s house overlooking the Pacific Ocean. Later this summer, I’ll have some amazing bike rides with Steve, John, Mario and a bunch of others.

Who are you?

Preparations are being made for our return to Denver in a few months where we’ll be reunited with some of the best friends 2 people could ever ask for. If you live somewhere other than Denver (Monterey?) trust that just knowing you are in our future brings a huge smile to my face.

Who are you?

In 2013, we hope to make a trip overseas to one of our absolute favorite dance locations. You are all invited!

Who are you?

In the fall, our little girl starts 1st grade! Music, math, hooked on phonics and the occasional triathlon. Is there anything better than being a parent?

Who are you?

Consider that who you are has absolutely nothing to do with your past. It has nothing to do with the experiences you’ve had thus far in life, the schools you attended or the family environment you grew up in. It has nothing to do with the opportunities you’ve been given or the walls you’ve run into.

Who are you?

Consider that at this moment, I am defined by the future I’m living into and there are no circumstances or life events that could ever get in the way of that.
My buddy David in TX has become an incredibly important person in my life over the last 6+ months. Yes, David and BeLynda have taken care of our daughter and we will be forever grateful. That will be an act of generosity I’ll never forget. There is more to David that I want to share.

Who is David?

For me, David is the possibility of Rigor, Excellence and Discipline. Everything about him, everything he does, everything he says radiates Rigor, Excellence and Discipline. More importantly, he inspires me to have Rigor, Excellence and Discipline in my own life. These words are forever etched in my mind, but realize that words are just words. These specific words are powerful because I experience David living them on a daily basis. It is who David is. It is how he shows up for me every time I am with him.

Who is Jo?

For me, Jo is the possibility of Extraordinary Love. Love is many things to many people, but I distinguish love as acceptance. I accept you exactly the way you are and I accept you exactly the way you are not. When I see acceptance, love is always present.

People all over the world love my wife and it has everything to do with her way of being. When I watch Jo in life, I see love…even if I can’t hear the conversation. When I watch Jo get chemo in a hospital bed, I see love.

Jo loves life. She loves people. She loves to dance. She loves being a mom. She loves being a daughter. She loves being a sister and a friend. She loves the experience of being alive. Circumstances are irrelevant. I am touched, moved and inspired by the way she plays the game of life. Her way of being is also forever etched in my brain and my future is filled with the possibility of my being able to reproduce that love for my own life.

Who am I?

Who I am is the possibility of extraordinary being - the possibility of people living extraordinary lives. If there was a gift I could give to the world, I would share with every one of you the amazing people I have run across in my life. People that play the game of life full out. David’s Rigor, Excellence and Discipline. Jo’s Extraordinary Love. Paul’s Compassionate Leadership. John’s Unstoppable Generosity. And many others…

So, who are you?

Consider that who you are is determined completely by the future you’re living into…and consider that this is tremendous news. Yes, we all have to learn how to put the past where it belongs – in the past. But once you do that, the future is a blank slate and you can create anything. So live big, play full out, create a HUGE future…and never let circumstances stop you.

Muddy Trails Bash

Yesterday we spent a wonderful afternoon outside at the Muddy Trails Bash. For full video coverage of the race, visit the Triplets website here. For pictures, click here.

In the picture above is our friend Tim who Jo met at MD Anderson Orientation back in October. Tim had Leukemia and he received a Stem Cell Transplant very similar to Jo's. We saw Tim and his wife, Miranda, a lot in the Medical Center and now they just happen to be living down the street from The Triplets with Tim's mom for a while before they head home to San Antonio.

Congratulations to Miranda who took 2nd place among all women in the Muddy Trails 5k!

Jo on Lufkin Television

Click below to see what Jo is up to on Spring Break!

The Lufkin Daily News

KTRE - Lufkin Channel 9

Day +127 Spring Break

This week is Spring Break for Anna and I voted that we go to Cancun!!! Being the ever cautious, Jo had another idea. For the first time since last October, Jo will see her family in Lufkin. Anna is thrilled to get to spend the week with Memaw Rita.

Jo saw Dr. Anderlini last Thursday. All her counts were very good, especially her platelets at 115,000. Dr. Anderlini says he looks at the platelet count the most to determine how well the patient's bone marrow is doing.

In my mind, the next big milestone is for Jo to work her way off Tacro. When does that happen? It's kind of a fuzzy science, but we have heard more than once that the weaning process can start as early as the 6 month point. Because of that, I'm somewhat focused on Day +180!

Day +105 Cutting Another Cord

Jo got out of the hospital on Monday and yesterday we went back to see Dr. Anderlini in his office. Some very good things came out of her hospital stay.

When you have an infection, it's very common to see your WBC count drop extremely low, even if you haven't had a transplant. Jo's WBC count got down between 1 and 2. In the hospital she was given Nupogen shots to get her body to boost her WBCs and her counts shot up into double digits. Dr. Anderlini said this is a very good sign. Her new bone marrow displayed plenty of "reserve" horsepower by responding so strongly to the shots.

Secondly, it was just a good test. We would prefer not to test her new marrow, but a test is a test and Jo responded well to all treatment. By Monday she was feeling great!

Dr. Anderlini said it was okay to schedule her next appointment in THREE weeks! That sounds like great news, right? When he said it, I could see Jo's face get just a little pale. She had to ask a couple of times if he really thought that was okay. I've seen similar reactions from some of our other transplant friends. There is a great sense of comfort when you're just minutes from MD Anderson and never more than a few days away from your next office visit.

Jo's reaction reminded me of when I was a kid. I had to hold back the tears every year as I waited for the school bus on the first day of school. "Over there" often seems scarier than "right here". I always survived that first day of school and every day it got a little easier to be away from the safety of home. Jo too will do just fine being away from her doctors for 3 weeks, then 3 months and eventually 3 years. It's all part of the process.