
Can anyone spare a couple of bucks? Ryan Seacrest and Dick Clark told me to be in Times Square by 7pm and I don't have the cab fare on me! I sure hope Hilary Duff doesn't wear the same outfit I have on. Happy New Year!
In November 2004, Jo and I found out that we were going to have a baby! At the same time, Jo was diagnosed with Aplastic Anemia - a medical term that means her bone marrow was failing; it was no longer doing its job of producing white blood cells, red blood cells and platelets. On June 17th, 2005, Jo gave birth to a beautiful baby girl - Anna Claire Szymanski. Anna's health was perfect and has continued to be perfect! This Blog is dedicated to Jo’s journey along the road to recovery.
Here is Jo with Dr. Anderlini and his assistant, Thuy, at M.D. Anderson in Houston, TX (pay no attention to the man in the mirror). Dr. Anderlini had just gotten back from seeing family in Italy where preparations for the Olympics dominate the daily news.
It will take a week or so to get results on Jo's bone marrow aspiration and biopsy, but based on Jo's blood counts and her continued need for transfusions, Dr. Anderlini is recommending that we initiate treatment soon and that we seriously consider a bone marrow transplant.
It is important to Dr. Anderlini that his patients make their own decisions regarding treatment. His favorite saying is, "Don't ask the barber if you need a haircut." He makes a living doing bone marrow transplants and he feels very strongly that based on Jo's situation, he can help her.
The option to a bone marrow transplant is a stimulation therapy called ATG, where Jo's immune system would be suppressed to a point that her bone marrow would be given every opportunity possible to get started producing blood elements again like it is supposed to do. ATG is a much less risky treatment for Aplastic Anemia, but historically, the results have not been as permanent as a bone marrow transplant. The NIH in Washington, D.C. is constantly doing research with ATG, which is one of the only options for a patient you does not have a bone marrow match. Ultimately, I suppose an ATG solution that provided permanent results would be ideal and my guess is that this is the charter of the research being done at the NIH.
If Jo were 20 years old, pretty much everybody would agree that a BMT was the way to go. If she were 60, everybody would agree on ATG. Because she is SOMEWHERE right in the middle of those two numbers, she is considered on the fence.
We have spent numerous days and nights going over the pros and cons of each option and the bottom line is that there is plenty of data to make a strong argument either way. Jo and I had an interesting conversation last night regarding the difference between making a decision and making a choice (as defined by Landmark Education). If you have never heard of Landmark Education, please go to their website and look them up - www.landmarkeducation.com. We have each spent significant amounts of time in their seminars and studying their material and we both believe that Landmark Education has had a significant impact on our lives - with or without the medical challenges we are facing.
Landmark Education distinguishes a "choice" as a situation where you weigh all possible considerations or reasons, but then you choose freely. In a "decision", the decision is made because of the considerations or reasons. For instance, when I decide to eat a hamburger instead of a salad, it is often because I like the hamburger better and it will make me feel more satisfied. The bottom line is that I have "reasons" why I decided on the hamburger. In effect, I didn't really make the decision - the reasons made the decision for me. The fact that I like hamburgers better than salad is what made the decision.
So, how does this apply to Jo? We are searching right now for some "reason" to decide between a BMT and ATG. We would love to find some glaring reason that just jumps out and clearly makes the decision for us. This sounds reasonable, but really what we are trying to avoid is taking responsibility for the decision just in case we might happen to make the WRONG decision. There is so much data to argue either option, we are going to drive ourselves bananas looking for that reason that clearly makes the decision for us. AND, if the treatment doesn't work out like we hope, we will kick ourselves over and over again for not doing the proper amount of research to find the real reason why we should have gone the other way.
The other option is to make a choice. Remember, Landmark Education distinguishes a choice as a situation where you weigh all considerations, but then you choose freely. Okay, so I like hamburgers better than salad, but salad is healthier, etc. In a choice, I weigh all considerations and then I throw all those considerations out the window and make a choice freely. Why did I choose the hamburger? I chose the hamburger just because I chose the hamburger. I don't have any reasons and I don't have any excuses!
As a freshman at the Air Force Academy I was taught that for 1 full year, the response to every "why" question would be "No excuse, sir." That was almost 20 years ago, but I think I finally get it.
It is almost time to quit weighing the considerations around Jo's possible treatment options and to make a free choice, a choice for which Jo and I will take 100% responsibility. The doctors won't make the choice, nor will the reasons make the choice. By taking 100% responsibility, there is also no chance of regret. Regret comes from letting a reason make your decision for you and then later in life thinking that you let the wrong reason make your decision.
We all have the opportunities to make decisions and choices every day and my hope is that by reading this entry, somebody might take the time to bring the distinction of choice vs. decision into their own life.
ANNA UPDATE - Anna rolled over from her stomach to her back earlier this week. She has tremendous technique - throw her head back, arch hard, kick and flip - sounds like her first attempt at dance choreography to me. Tonight, we were able to get her to roll from her back to her stomach. By the time we get back to Denver, she'll be rolling all the way down the hall!!!
I took Jo to the hospital this morning at 7:15am. Since she was going to be sedated for her bone marrow biopsy, she was not allowed to drive herself to the hospital or back home. Her procedure was set to begin at 9:00am. Even thought she had gotten extra platelets yesterday, she needed more and everything was delayed.
It takes a couple of hours to have blood prepared for a transfusion, so things didn’t really get rolling until about noon. Again, today’s goal was to use a CT Scan to get a needle into a very specific spot in Jo’s hip and take a sample of the bone marrow. According to the doctor, the spot is about the size of a golf ball.
Jo was very relieved to find out she was going to be sedated. This was her fourth bone marrow biopsy and fortunately only one was without the aid of sedation. Jo said the worst (and funniest) part about today was when the nurse asked the doctor, “Are you going to need a mallet?” His response was, “No, but I will take a stepstool.”
Thank heaven for sedation. Jo remembers seeing the doctor up on the stepstool, banging away with his fist on the needle trying to get it through her bone and she remembers carrying on a conversation with him, but as for pain – nothing significant. She’s pretty sore tonight, but how could she not be? Do you remember Billy Crystal on Saturday Night Live contemplating stuffing a meat thermometer in his ear and pounding it with a ball-peen hammer? "I hate it when that happens."
The procedure took about an hour. The doctor and the nurses would push the needle in a little and then run to the other room to look at the CT scan to see if the needle was headed in the right direction. The end result was 3 half-inch long little red worms that were apparently bone marrow. The doctor seemed very proud.
The results of this test will not be given to us until sometime next week. Jo is scheduled to see Dr. Alvarez next Wednesday and I am sure we will get a full report.
Today, we had a very interesting trip to the doctor's office. The entire professional building was in costume, even Dr. Alvarez! We saw Winnie the Pooh, a dalmation, a bumble bee, a disco diva and a bicyle rider who had just had a bloody run in with a tree.
Dr. Alvarez is still very optimistic. We have known for a long time that Dr. Alvarez is not a fan of Bone Marrow Transplants, unless absolutely necessary. He wants to give Jo every chance to recover on her own and he really believes that he sees small indications that her counts are improving and she is becoming less dependent on transfusions. The real question is how long do we wait?
Right now, the plan is to wait 4 more weeks, until November 28th. This will give Jo a good strong 6+ weeks since stopping her breastfeeding. At that point, if she is getting worse, we will schedule a Bone Marrow Transplant – probably in the middle of December. If Jo appears to be staying the same or getting better, then we have to reevaluate the plan.
Although it would be awesome to eventually have a natural recovery, continuing to wait brings more and more potential complications – cold and flu season (Jo’s counts are not high enough to get a flu shot and Dr. Alvarez wants her to avoid getting a cold if any way possible), iron overload from the transfusions and other difficulties that can come from ongoing transfusions.
On November 16th, Jo will have another bone marrow biopsy. She has had 3 already (one in Denver, one at the NIH and one at MD Anderson), and all 3 have shown similar results. A couple of weeks ago, Jo’s MRI showed some very soft areas of bone in her pelvis and her lower spine and this biopsy will be a very directed attempt to get some bone marrow from one of these isolated areas in an attempt to explain the MRI results.
Jo’s platelet count was 37,000 today and her last transfusion was one week ago. She normally gets transfused when they drop below 10,000 (normal is 150,000 to 450,000). If she makes it until next Monday before she gets another transfusion, it will be her first 2-week stretch between transfusions since having the baby. Jo’s level of transfusion dependency appears to be one of the primary factors that Dr. Alvarez watches.
The big, big, biggedy big news is now official. After living for 2 weeks as a guest in our own home (in the main floor guestroom), I no longer like the stairs and I think it is time to get a new home. Why is it that I can ride the Stairmaster at the gym for 30 minutes, but one trip up the stairs in our home and I have to sit down and catch my breath?
We hit the pavement hard last weekend and we have found a wonderful ranch floor plan that will allow us to have our “real” bedroom, the baby’s room, the washer/dryer and our home office all on one level. Most importantly, Jo will be able to go back to a fairly normal daily routine without having to worry about the stairs. Jo’s actually most excited about being able to once again peek in on Anna when she is sleeping.
We will close around December 12th, so stay tuned for information on moving day!
On November 15, 2004, Jo went to her OB for her 8-week pregnancy checkup. She was pretty sure she was pregnant and we were very excited to have it confirmed. As a routine part of that checkup, her blood counts were checked and, to our surprise, they came back critically low. Her platelet count was 31,000 – normal is anywhere from 150,000 to 450,000. Her red blood cell counts and white blood cell counts were also very low, but the platelets were the primary concern. Jo knew she had felt winded and tired, but she felt it was just a normal part of being pregnant.
Jo was immediately put in touch with Dr. Raul Alvarez, a hematologist in Highlands Ranch, CO. Dr. Alvarez began running tests and giving her all the normal medications for somebody that is anemic. On November 21st, Dr. Alvarez had Jo checked into Swedish Medical Center where she spent a full week over the Thanksgiving Holiday. (I did manage to sneak her in some very nice Thanksgiving deserts, compliments of our close friends, Thuy Nguyen and Huong Hoang.)
On November 24th, Jo’s platelets had dropped to 13,000 and she received her first blood transfusion. We still didn’t know what was really going on or how it would affect the pregnancy. Dr. Alvarez had requested that I come to meet with him and Jo on at least 2 or 3 different occasions. He seemed as scared as we were. He very slowly and methodically explained to us what was going on and the severity of the problem.
Aplastic Anemia is a very rare blood disorder where the bone marrow fails – usually for no known reason. We have found some very sparse data that suggests that pregnancy can cause Aplastic Anemia, but there will never be any way to know for sure if this is the case for Jo.
Jo does want me to mention that she had a bone marrow biopsy while at Swedish. Since she was admitted as a patient (and things were slow over Thanksgiving), they sedated her for the procedure (sticking a long needle into her hip bone to extract some bone marrow) and things went pretty smooth – this will be important when you hear about the next bone marrow biopsy.
The results of the biopsy were not good. Dr. Alvarez drew some diagrams for us showing how Jo’s bone marrow was working at about 5% of normal. He again emphasized how serious this was and requested that we go to Washington, D.C. to visit the specialists at the National Institutes of Health (NIH).